A Colonial Christmas
by CbugL
Summary: Some of England's colonies have decided to reminisce all together this holiday season. In Order to do so they all go to their Former Big Brother, Britain's house. How will the former Empire deal with his 'Children' back home for Christmas? There is some *a lot of* cursing.
1. Chapter 1

**Description** : Some of England's colonies have decided to reminisce all together this holiday season. In Order to do so they all go to their Former Big Brother, Britain's house. How will the former Empire deal with his 'Children' back home for Christmas?

 **A Colonial Christmas**

 **Chapter 1**

It was November 25, America had just ended his "Thanksgiving" celebrations. England was drinking his morning cup of Breakfast Tea contemplating Christmases of the past. He had yet to put up the tree this year. For Arthur this was unusual he usually had started to celebrate after Halloween like the majority of his country did, but something had stopped him. Arthur was reading his lovely newspaper, when the door knocker rang through the old mansion he called home. " _Who is bloody visiting this early in the morning? It's not even eleven,"_ the island nation thought to himself as he went to see who it was.

When Arthur opened the door, he was definitely not expecting to find four of his former colonies at the door, with suitcases.

"Well, MERRY CHRISTMAS DUDE!" America was still living off his Thanksgiving high, but for sure happy for Christmastime to be here. Wait, panic seized England, Alfred is up before eleven after THANKSGIVING! He was usually sleeping until two in the afternoon!

"We came to celebrate, just like we used to!" Australia seemed to have the attitude as America.

"I thought you were anti-Christmas until December Alfred," Arthur talking to his former little brother, his voice like that of when America was just starting a revolution.

"Just until after Thanksgiving, before then it's just premature. We have to celebrate the survival of the Pilgrims first and friendship and family, and good food," Alfred looked a little too proud.

"Al, you're the only one who celebrates Thanksgiving in November," Matthew quietly told his twin.

"Well, you would think Artie would at least celebrate, he was there you know?"

"Wait, you joined the pilgrims?!" Hong Kong made his first remark of the conversation. He had been watching to see where it went, but this was too much to ignore.

"Yes and No, I went to explore the New World and found Alfred. I am not sure if I regret it or not," his voice teasing his first colony.

"Uh huh, I know for a fact that you cried when I almost went with France," Al smirked.

"WHAT! THIS IS NEWS TO ME. PAPA WAS ALMOST YOUR PAPA TOO!" Canada uncharacteristically yelled to his younger twin.

"Yes, sadly…"

"Can we please go inside, it's cold and I think it's about to rain," Christian (or Jett as her preferred) Kirkland (Australia) whined.

"Oh, of course, come in. I trust you remember where your rooms are," A smile of nostalgia rose upon Iggy's face.

The group of five headed inside, suitcases and all. Kumachurro was following Canadia, and Jett's koala was on his shoulder as they went up the stairs.

Hong Kong was the first to get to his room, as he was the last to leave England's house. Inside the room both British and his Flag hung on the walls. His fedoras hung on the side of the bed just as they had when he left suddenly back to China. All his clothes were still in the closet as though he had never left. The walls were a beige but a red Bauhinia Blakeana flower was painted over the bed. He flopped done onto his bed, remembering what it was like when he first came into England's care.

Christian cautiously opened his door. His bed had his stuffed koala collection with other animals still on it. The handmade quilt from England was still on his four poster bed. His eyes teared up, but quickly were gone. A map of his country hung over his oak writing desk. His old writing utensils and papers everywhere. Christian saw his trunk, and peeked inside. All of his old toys and drawing were tucked inside like a parent who wanted to save all of these things. The young nation after reminiscing began to unpack his suitcase.

Canada was the next to find his room, as the rooms came closer to Arthur's the further down the hall. Kuma's bed by his still sat beside his. Matthew's tan suit from his young teens hung on the wardrobe door, where he had left it over a hundred years ago. Arthur had obviously been in to clean, but had not moved anything. A small smile played on the quiet boy's face. Drawings of maple leaves, pancakes, and other national symbols covered the walls. There was a painting of Arthur, Alfred, and him on the wall by his desk. The room reminded him of happier times, before the American Revolution, 1812 when Al burned York, 1814 where Arthur and him burned Washington DC. Mattie finished his exploration and started to put his stuff up in the way he had before he became independent.

Alfred reached his room last, being the first his room was next to his former mentor's. Grief stabbed his heart as he looked inside. It had been 270 years since he had been to Arthur's for holidays. He regrets taking his freedom so soon, he just wanted to be strong like Artie. His toy soldiers were on the floor where he had played with them. An English flag hung proudly on the wall over his king sized bed. A leather bound Bible sat on his nightstand from which Arthur read him stories. He had been instilled in strong Christian roots that still stood today. That suit he had returned after his first world meeting was in his closet with his old clothing. An old tea canister stood on his desk, if was filled with letters Arthur would send when he left for meeting. Another stood from Matt before he came into the British Empire. A small British officer's uniform hung from a coat rack. Al was painfully aware of everything he could have prevented. He quickly unpacked before heading downstairs.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Alfred was the first to meet Artie downstairs. The elder nation was drinking a piping hot cup of Earl Grey and offered Al some. He was not expecting the younger to accept, but America did. Arthur could see pain in his co-former colony's eyes, but did not say anything as he poured him some tea.

"Scones, Alfred?"

"No thank you, Arthur," both of the nations were brought back to simpler times with just this set of words.

When Matthew made it down, he too was offered tea, but did not partake. It might have been that he was a little stunned to see his coffee-lover of a brother drinking Artie's favorite beverage. In fact it stunned the other two when they finally got downstairs. Hong Kong took a nap apparently, but took the tea. Jett did not, saying it was too earlier for tea.

"Mum, no tree this year?" Jett Kirkland questioned his brother.

"I have not gotten around to it yet, Christian."

"My name is Jett, Mum!"

"I named you Christian and you were baptized so. Christian is your name to me and it always will be," the air around the man seemed to dare anyone to contradict him.

"You changed Leon's name!" hook and sinker for the poor Aussie, he always fell for it.

"He was young and needed a western name and you know it. He too has been baptized in the name I gave him like the rest of you."

"Why don't we go look for a Christmas tree?" the North American twins suggested.

"Yeah, 媽媽, it will bring more life to the house," Hong Kong told his brothers and Mum, trying to stop Jett and England's fight.

This did indeed bring an end to the fight for now, and the family went out to find a tree. Being as they could easily lose a member, they opted to take the car. Seeing as America drives like he stole the car and on the right side, Arthur decided to drive. Matthew also drives like he is one snow so he was not a contender. Christian and Leon look too young to drive in the United Kingdom. This is what lead to the decision. Traffic was not terrible and soon the family found a Christmas Tree lot.

Once there, they set out to find three trees for the large mansion, one for the formal dining room, sitting room, and living room. Luckily it only took an hour, a near record low time for Mattie and Al. The trees had to meet high criteria and finally they were deemed fit to bring home. Thank God for Alfred and Matthew's strength or loading the trees would have been a nightmare. All together the trees had cost €177, and with free labour that was it.

The car ride back was something else, let's just put it that way. Alfred was hungry. This leads to complaining. Matthew however deems this the time to berate Alfred to get him off of his hunger. It works, but Alfred was in tears, Mattie has NO CHILL.

"Shut UP, ALFRED FERNANDEZ JONES. YOU MESS EVERYTHING UP! MY ECONOMY IS NOT STABLE BECAUSE YOU AND ARTHUR DECIDED TO PLAY 'WHO CAN FUCK UP EACH OTHER'S COUNTRY MORE'?!"

"Well to be far, I am winning," Alfred smirked, and Arthur glared and scrunched his eye-caterpillars.

"OH HAHAHA! MAYBE YOU DID NOT NOTICE BUT YOUR EDUCATION SYSTEM IN SO BAD THAT PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHERS ARE PUTTING THEIR CHILDREN IN PRIVATE SCHOOL!"

"Mattie, calm down. I know you don't agree with all my decisions but they are mine and NOT YOUR'S"

"NO SHIT SHERLOCK! YOU MAY NOT KNOW BUT YOUR DECISIONS AFFECT MOST OF THE WORLD MR. HYPER-POWER!"

"BOYS, I am only going to say this once. (Christian cover Leon's ears) IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP, I CAN AND WILL TAKE YOU BACK AND YOU CAN FORGOT YOUR INDEPENDENCE EVER HAPPENED," Arthur screamed just like when he was an empire. He was totally done of this stupid argument, and the whole car went silent. You could have heard a pin drop.

"Yes sir," The twins said in unison heads bowed like when they were little colonies of this empire.

"Good, you can uncover Leon's ears now Christian."

The rest of the ride was in silence. Canada and America started playing rock, paper, scissors with Jett and Leon. It was clear England still could maintain authority when he needed to. When the group got back home, the mood lifted as the trees were brought into the foyer. It was quickly decided which went to which room. Mattie and Jett were in charge of the sitting room. Hong Kong got to decorate the tree in the dining room by himself. He was the only one trusted to not do something stupid without supervision. And Alfred and Arthur had the Living Room together. Once the ornaments were found, it felt just like it had when each of the former colonies lived in England's house during Christmas. A lot had obviously changed, but Alfred and Mattie had the same feeling they had during the seventeen hundreds. Some of the ornaments were the same. Singing started and it went from Modern Christmas Music to Old Church Hymns. The house was as gay and merry as ever.

"Artie, you never showed Leon the Kirkland Family Christmas decorating secret, did you?"

"No, Alfred. That stopped once you left," sadness entered the emerald eyes of England. "Christian does not know either."

"Such a shame, well we can do it together. Hope Mattie remembers. When I left, that first Christmas. I really missed being here with you and everyone else."

"We missed you as well."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

By the time the trees were decorated it was long past tea time, and it was settled that they were going to damn decorate this house. Alfred pulled his younger 'siblings' over to show them how to decorate like a 'pro.' It turns out, Kirkland decorating is making sure 99.9999999% of your decorations are edible for weeks and someone ends up losing a bet to be in a dress for a week. Also, it means the BTT gets pranked by the whole family. This however is still in planning. Traditions are beautiful, yes? Yes.

Matthew and Alfred broke out the liquor, why Arthur had any left nobody knows. The twins were careful to hide it for a little while. They can hold their alcohol much better than their mentor. Jett wanted in on the action and the three took another shot. The trio banned together to take a shot every time Arthur cusses. Let's pray for no alcohol poisoning. Leon was too young, poor Leon. At least he gets to watch the madness, sober, imagine the blackmail material!

They were an hour in and had taken no less than ten shots. It might be time to stop, but-

"Hey, Iggy. Do you remember that night in New York?" America slurred, Arthur turned red.

"Yes Aly, I do. That also means I know when you're drunk, love," the island nation smirked. "Matt pass the whiskey," he took a swig, "Alright, no more drinking for you Al, Christian, Matt. You all look like you're on the verge of Alcohol Poisoning."

"I'm not terribly sure, but yeah," a southern accent pronouncing itself from the younger twin.

"I'll help you mum," Leon said helping to lift Alfred with Arthur.

"Up the stairs we go. What's sad is that Matt used to have to help do this often. There was a reason for the prohibition."

"Watch this. Alfred, what do you think of magic?" Canada asked his younger twin.

"Well, Iggy's friends are really nice and Hogwarts was pretty great when I went, but Salem was bad news dude, bad news. They hung us you know, those piss offs. Damn hurt dying for the first time," Alfred's words slurred but the story was true. He would never say it sober so Matt had to get it out of him drunk. The 'nonbeliever' was still a little frightened of being hung again, but truly still acknowledged magic.

And very unceremoniously all three of the drunks fell to the floor asleep, except Al kind of just slumped. Artie and Leon got everyone up to their rooms and promptly headed towards their own. However, before Arthur went into his, he stepped into Al's. He had not been inside this room for years, the maids had always cleaned, but he had not entered since America won the war.

He could see America's sleeping figure. He looked so much like the boy he was when he still relied on Arthur. In many ways he was, but he had to grow up so fast with his independence and be the hyper-power he is today. " _The bible still's next to his bed. He used to love to read it before going to sleep every night_ ," Iggy thought as he recalled all those wonderful memories he had with his first colony. He had never been as close to any of his other colonies like he had been to Alfred Foster Kirkland. When Francis had told Artie that Alfred had changed his last name for his freedom it hurt him something terrible. However, it was time to sleep, Arthur kissed his boy's forehead and closed the door to Alfred's bedroom.

"I miss those days I had with him. At least he grow up well, someone to be proud of at least," and with that Arthur fell asleep peacefully after his first day of Christmas with family in years.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The Kirkland household, as a whole made a silent pact to not wake anyone up, except Alfred about Arthur. The elder nation was a stickler about his sleep and always had been. This had led to some traumatic midnight memories. The man did not usually sleep so late, in fact Alfred was awake before he was. So being the 'hero' he went to go wake up his old man. The others knew it was not the best decision, and they knew Al knew that, but let him anyway. If Artie was going to be pissed with anyone, it might as well be America. He might be better after his tea, but who knows.

None of the other nations had been inside Arthur's room before. It was a forbidden room in the mansion. He was an empire and his colonies were very afraid he would treat them like Spain did his, if they disobeyed him. America had experience enough for the rest of them to go off of. Alfred, of course, had been inside many times. His sense of bravery was just barely above stupidity.

"Dudes, stop acting so afraid. If this room is anything like I remember, it is the most boring thing to ever exist," America smiled.

Alfred entered first. The room was grey with green and red accents here and there. The bed was a dark wooden stained four poster. Inside was a sleeping England, who looked absolutely adorable cuddling a teddy bear. Seems the first apple did not fall far from the tree. Arthur was soundly asleep. Alfred walked over to Artie's bed, and.

"YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE. YOU ARE MY SUN-"

Arthur then woke up and immediately began to smother the larger nation with his pillow. Leon, Jett, and Matt could not keep themselves together and began to laugh uncontrollably. Like they literally doubled over and Jett could not stand and was leaning on Matthew, who was leaning on Leon, who promptly fell over, because he was laughing a little too hard.

After this little episode, the Kirkland Clan journeyed downstairs for Breakfast. Canada got to cook because he was related to Francis, who taught him to cook.

"Why can't I just eat fairy bread?" Christian whined before he got his Canadian Pancakes.

"Dude, like what the hell's 'fairy bread'," America turned his head like a curious toddler.

"Well, it's white bread with butter and hundreds and thousands! It is like the Australian Cake at Birthday Parties. It is the BEST THING NEXT TO TIM TAMS!"

"Hundreds and Thousands, you mean sprinkles, eh?" the Canadian said as he flipped two pancakes at the SAME TIME! Canadian superpower #1.

"Yeah! Thanks mate!"

"Because I made that mistake a long time ago. I'm not dealing with that at my house ever again, Christian," the sleepy Brit stated as he took another sip of tea.

"I was younger!"

"You still are young," the thousand plus year old nation smirked. "Still a child, like the rest of you."

"Thanks you the pancakes bro!" America changed the subject remarking this to his elder twin.

"Merci Alfred," Mathieu smiled as his brother took more. Arthur sent a look in his junior's direction by habit. "Sorry, Thank you, Alfred."

"English only in this house, Matthew," the statement was not even said aloud but it had been so many times that it rang through Matt's head immediately.

"So, what happened in New York, Aly?" Jett asked.

"Um, a lot," the American's face turned as red as a tomato, the pancakes suddenly became 100 times more interesting, along with his shoes.

"Mum?"

"Well, Christian. During Alfred's revolution h-," Alfred _pounced_ onto the Brit, stopping him from embarrassing his first colony beyond mentioning. "What I thought you told Francis and them. Why can I not tell Christian, Al? You seemed to really enjoy that night," if it was possible, Al went even more red.

"Who are you?" God damn it Kuma!

"I'm Canada, your owner."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Many memories resurfaced and the time passed very quickly, and soon it was four days before Christmas. It was the day before they were going to prank the Bad Touch Trio on their annual Christmas outing or before…

It took all five of them to plan this. Thank God Canada was there to help with Francis' biggest nightmare, losing his long blonde locks. Scissors are great, aren't they. Gilbert, because no one wanted to deal with Gilbird, they decided might have new hair color, ayran blonde? Antonio, smiling, spicy hot-blooded conquistador Antonio Fernándo Carriedo, getting pelted with tomatoes would not be that fun right, especially in that _one_ area. Of course, they trio deserved some _fun_ together, since they shared an apartment.

All five of the Kirklands had made it to the shared flat of the Bad Touch Trio, who were all asleep. It was 4:30 AM, I should have hoped to God that they were still sleeping, but you never know with them. Matthew was sent to Francis' bedside, but everyone came anyway. This was a historic event, none of them at had ever seen France with short hair, even Arthur. He shuddered, poor Papa, and cut through the fine locks in three snips. Mattie grabbed the ponytail and hung it in the doorway. Silent tears were shed for the beautiful fine blonde hair of Francis Bonnefoy, RIP France's hair.

Gilbert Beilschmidt, awesome Gilbert, the albino and proud Prussian, hope he likes his bro's hair color! Alfred, knowing Gil the best went into the product cabinet and added blonde hair dye. Since the bottle was brown you could not even tell it was in there. This was not enough, they cut off Franny's hair the least the clan could do is change a couple contacts in Gil's phone.

" _Turtle_ , good job Spain, your most definable trait in not even a tomato, that seems to be Romano. How about we change that to, _Spicy Hot-Blooded Conquistador_ ," Arthur whispered. " _Franny_ , how original, that's what it is in America's phone, _The Worst Pirate to Ever Have Existed_ , true and fits the Frog so well. _West_ , how about _The VaterLand_.

Hong Kong was in charge of Spain's day. Well, how does one prank such a happy spaniard? To be honest, I am still not sure as I write this. I guess you would have to mess up turtles or tomatoes. Well, I think I like turtles more than tomatoes so tomato catapult! This had to be set up so that when Antonio stepped out of bed, BAM tomato in a not so fun place. Take your pick of where.

They left Aussie in the general destruction side of the the other four met up with Jett, they noticed just how much war technique was in all the attacks. Good Job, Christian! Doorways with tape and/or saran wrap, each one was different. Only one place was safe, the front door, where they were leaving from. Alfred setup the cameras around the whole apartment so as to enjoy it all once the trio woke up.

They made it back to Arthur's mansion before the Bad Touch Trio woke up, what a bunch of bums. It was eleven o'clock when the first one of them woke up, Prussia. He thought everything was normal until about twenty minutes after he woke up. His phone seemed to be causing him some mild confusion, " _The VaterLand, The Worst Pirate to Ever Have Existed, Spicy Hot-Blooded Conquistador_? _What the hell?_ " He went and semi-styled his hair, before going into the living room. Gilbert screamed, like a little girl, it was hilarious, high pitched and all that jazz. It woke up the other two. Similar screams were also heard and a laugh? Toni really needs to calm down about a tomato, dear God. A wail of distress and utter sadness was seen from Franny's room. The frenchman was doubled over on the floor crying over his poor hair. It was the first thing the other two saw in the doorway. But what was odd is that Mathieu had cut it nicely and it was quite becoming to Francis. By this time the Kirkland clan watching was laughing so hard, tears were in their eyes. It had been over two hundred years since they had pranked the BTT for Christmas and it went perfectly. The trio that proved this entertainment went back into the kitchen, realized Gil's hair was blonde and then found the note.

 _Dear Idiots,_

 _Hope you enjoy this very delayed early Christmas present tradition._

 _-Arthur, Christian, and Leon Kirkland with Alfred F. Jones (formerly Kirkland) and Matthieu Williams (formerly Bonnefoy)_

"ARTHUR YOU WILL PAY FOR MY PRECIOUS HAIR MON AMI!"

"ALFRED, WE HELPED YOU OUT WHY? DO YOU FORGET WHO TAUGHT YOU TO BE A NATION, DUMMKOPF!"

"GRACIAS PARA LAS TOMATOES!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

It was Christmas Eve, and all of the nations were tired. They had been at Arthur's for almost a month. It had been loads of fun. They were all heading to sleep when Arthur said, "If we are really commemorating, no opening the presents until I get up in the morning, Alfred, Christian. Good night," and with that the eldest nation went to bed and so did the others.

Leon was the first to wake up on Christmas, and after him Mattie. Both were content to wait until Arthur got up. However once Alfred, but more so, Jett got up there was no stopping them from waking up Artie so they could open their presents. Toddlers I swear. They ran to England's room, and jumped onto the bed. They dodged the pillow of death and grabbed his feet.

"WAKE UP DAD IT'S FUCKING CHRISTMAS!" Christian yelled as Alfred and he started to exit the room with their father. He really wanted to see what he got.

Well, in the end, all of them survived. It was a wonderful month of celebrations. England, America, Canada, Australia, and Hong Kong were sad to leave, but made a pact to do this again, one year soon. Alfred and Matthew left first, having a shorter and different plane ride than the other two. It was short and sweet as they would see each other soon for the world meeting. Arthur said goodbye to Jett and Leon when they left. At last, he was left to his Earl Grey alone in his mansion once more, just like when it all started.

THE END

AN: Thank you so much for reading. This was kind of a gift fic for my friend. I do not know if she has a fanfiction account. ~Merry Christmas!


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